Frank Zappa
guitarist, singer, composer, voice actor, rock musician, record producer, songwriter, screenwriter, actor, journalist, musician, film producer, rock guitarist, film director
Read on Wikipedia1940 – 1993
All Quotes by Frank Zappa
“If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.”
“Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.”
“No change in musical style will survive unless it is accompanied by a change in clothing style. Rock is to dress up to.”
“Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.”
“Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.”
“There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.”
“All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.”
“Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture. The air in the performance is sculpted into something.”
“You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream.”
“Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.”
“Music is always a commentary on society.”
“I searched for years I found no love. I'm sure that love will never be a product of plasticity.”
“On a personal level, Freaking Out is a process whereby an individual casts off outmoded and restricting standards of thinking, dress, and social etiquette in order to express creatively his relationship to his immediate environment and the social structure as a whole.”
“Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.”
“If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they’ll murder you in your sleep.”
“I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.”
“Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you've got any guts. Some of you like Pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read. Forget I mentioned it. This song has no message. Rise for the flag salute.”
“Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read.”
“The things that were happening in 1955 were cosmic … in terms of music history.”
“If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.”
“Scientology, how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion?”
“Without deviation progress is not possible.”
“I consider that the building materials are exactly the same as what anybody else makes the thing out of. It's just the way they look at those materials is perhaps a narrower perspective. Time and those waves are at the disposal of anyone who wants to use them.”
“The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.”
“Classical musicians go to the conservatories, rock´n roll musicians go to the garages.”
“The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows.”
“I think that if a person doesn't feel cynical then they're out of phase with the 20th century. Being cynical is the only way to deal with modern civilization — you can't just swallow it whole.”
“A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.”
“Being interviewed is one of the most abnormal things that you can do to somebody else. It's two steps removed from the Inquisition.”
“Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, uses that something to support their own existence.”
“I don't give a fuck if they remember me at all.”
“No change in musical style will survive unless it is accompanied by a change in clothing style. Rock is to dress up to.”
“Every socialistic type of government… produces bad art, produces social inertia, produces really unhappy people, and it's more repressive than any other kind of government.”
“You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.”
“I'm probably more famous for sitting on the toilet than for anything else that I do.”
“I think we need more idiot control.”
“Their stupidity does not amaze me, its when they're smart that amazes me. It's baffling whenever you find someone who's smart — incredible. Soon you'll have zoos for such things.”
“One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds.”
“A wise man once said, "never discuss philosophy or politics in a disco environment."”
“There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another.”
“When God created Republicans, he gave up on everything else.”
“Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.”
“I like to watch the news, because I don't like people very much and when you watch the news... if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you're right.”
“Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.”
“The rock and roll business is pretty absurd, but the world of serious music is much worse.”
“It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia.”
“I have four children, and I want them to grow up in a country that has a working First Amendment.”
“The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.”
“The first thing you have to do if you want to raise nice kids, is you have to talk to them like they are people instead of talking to them like they're property.”
“Let's not be too rough on our own ignorance; it's what makes America great!”
“The essence of Christianity is told to us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the Tree of Knowledge. The subtext is, All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions.”
“The more boring a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being good parents — because they have a tame child-creature in their house.”
“Rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, in order to provide articles for people who can't read.”
“Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra, as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?”
“My solos are speech-influenced rhythmically; and harmonically, they're either pentatonic, or poly-scale oriented. And there's the mixolydian mode that I also use a lot...But I'm more interested in melodic things I think the biggest challenge when you go to play a solo is trying to invent a melody on the spot.”
“Well I think that progress is not possible without deviation. And I think that it's important that people be aware of some of the creative ways in which some of their fellow men are deviating from the norm, because in some instances they might find these deviations inspiring and might suggest further deviations which might cause progress, you never know.”
“So I'm watchin' and I'm waitin' That trouble comin' every day”
“Hey, you know something people? I wish I could say I'm not white.”
“And it's the same across the nation Because he's out for blood tonight.”
“Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow.”
“I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and you're cute, maybe you're beautiful. I just want to tell you somethin' — there's more of us UGLY MOTHERFUCKERS than you are, hey-y, so watch out.”
“Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is the best…”
“You know, people are basically shitty. It’s when they prove it over and over again that it gets obnoxious.”
“We live in a very special time right now. At no other time in history has there been such mass disillusionment in terms of reliance on governing functions. Most people don’t want to come to terms with that. It’s been proven over and over again that the emperor isn’t wearing any clothes, but most people don’t like to look at naked emperors. In the process of turning around to avert their eyes, they saw the discotheques and a few other things and latched onto them.”
“There’s no reason to assume that my idea of what‘s better would really be better. I resent it when other people try to inflict their ideas of betterness on me. I don’t think they know. And I can’t see any authority on the horizon that’s got any answers that seem worthwhile. Most of the things that are suggested are probably detrimental to your mental health.”
“Certification from one source or another seems to be the most important thing to people all over the world. A piece of paper from a school that says you’re smart, a pat on the head from your parents that says you’re good or some reinforcement from your peers that makes you think what you’re doing is worthwhile. People are just waiting around to get certified.”
“If a person wants to write music and lyrics, he has a perfect right to express his views on a certain subject. I would feel wrong if I were to express anything that I didn’t believe in. I write what I like to write. Those who like to listen to it, listen to it. And the ones who don’t, watch football and drink beer, jog, go to discos and so forth. I never claimed to be a man for all seasons.”
“Just because somebody hears something you say, or reads something that you write, doesn’t mean you’ve reached them. With reading comprehension being what it is in the U. S., you can safely toss that one out the window. If you want to judge by the listening habits of people who buy records, the first thing they do is put it on and talk over it.”
“So much gets lost in the translation. Even if you sat there listening to it with a microscope, there’s no way you’re gonna find out what it means.”
“People have preposterous ideas about what those songs are about and what the music means. They start spouting all this shit that’s so far off the mark, it’s revolting. But if that’s how they derive pleasure, who am I to deprive them of it? Let ’em enjoy it. It’s there for their edification. But total comprehension is out of the question.”
“I can’t talk to you about music because you don’t know anything about music. I can talk to you about politics or sociology and all that peripheral stuff, but I can’t talk to you about music. There’s not enough information in common that I could say to you so you’d be able to understand. Besides, the people who read OUI don’t give a fuck about music anyway.”
“The U.S. is a mere pup tent of a civilization. We’ve got two hundred years of stupidity behind us and we think we’re right up there with everyone else who’s been doing it for thousands of years.”
“The richest people in the world aren’t particularly smart or happy. And the happiest people in the world aren’t particularly smart or rich.… That leaves me making music. But we can’t talk about that.”
“Everything on this planet has something to do with music. Music functions in the realm of sculptured air. Polluted as our atmosphere might be, air is the thing that makes music work. Since all other things that occur in the sound domain are transmitted to the ear through that swirling mass, depending on how wide you want to make your definition, you could perceive quite a bit of human experience in terms of music.”
“I think the music of the Fifties is really good. I suspect it’s much better musically than much of what’s available now. Not in terms of production, but in terms of content. One good believable song about some guy’s girlfriend and how they broke up — a sincere one — is better than twenty albums of English rock that’s ever been produced.”
“Most people don’t think I’m rational. They’re too busy featuring their hurt. They find it irrational not to feature your hurt. That’s how fucked up they are.”
“Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die.”
“After all, he wrote this book here, and in the book it says he made us all to be just like him! So if we're dumb, then God is dumb — and maybe even a little ugly on the side.”
“Remember there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.”
“There are three things that smell of fish. One of them is fish. The other two are growing on you!”
“You say your life's a bum deal 'n yer up against the wall. Well, people, you ain't even got no deal at all. 'Cause what they do in Washington. They just takes care of Number One. An' Number One ain't you. You ain't even Number Two!”
“Shes a valley girl Fer sure, fer sure.”
“On Ventura, there she goes She got a whole bunch of nothin in there”
“I think that if you use the so-called "strong words" you'll get your point across faster and you can save a lot of beating around the bush. Why are people afraid of words? Sometimes the dumbest thing that gets said makes the point for you.”
“I'm a conservative, and you might not like that, but I am, and the fact of the matter is, this bill that they're talking about in Maryland is stupid.”
“Do you think you are protecting somebody by taking away seven words?”
“Tell you what — Kiss my ass! How do you like that…?”
“For the record, folks; I never took a shit on stage and the closest I ever came to eating shit anywhere was at a Holiday Inn buffet in Fayetteville, North Carolina, in 1973.”
“The bassoon is one of my favorite instruments. It has the medieval aroma, like the days when everything used to sound like that. Some people crave baseball...I find this unfathomable, but I can easily understand why a person could get excited about playing the bassoon.”
“A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.”
“It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice — there are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia.”
“If you wind up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on TV telling you how to do your shit, then YOU DESERVE IT.”
“We're not talking light-hearted foolishness here — when we go for stupid we go for BIG STUPID — like people who shoot at you on the freeway, or the Rambos and Rambo-ettes who blow people away in shopping malls and fast-food restaurants with automatic weapons.”
“My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can. Children are naive — they trust everyone. School is bad enough, but, if you put a child anywhere in the vicinity of a church, you're asking for trouble.”
“Gail has said in interviews that one of the things that makes our relationship work is the fact that we hardly ever get to talk to each other.”
“The creation and destruction of harmonic and 'statistical' tensions is essential to the maintenance of compositional drama. Any composition (or improvisation) which remains consistent and 'regular' throughout is, for me, equivalent to watching a movie with only "good guys" in it, or eating cottage cheese.”
“The Ultimate Rule ought to be: 'If it sounds GOOD to you, it's bitchin'; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it's shitty. The more your musical experience, the easier it is to define for yourself what you like and what you don't like. American radio listeners, raised on a diet of _____ (fill in the blank), have experienced a musical universe so small they cannot begin to know what they like.”
“There is no hell. There is only France.”
“Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.”
“There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something, we'd all love one another.”
“The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.”
“Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.”
“Fact of the matter is, there is no hip world, there is no straight world. There's a world, you see which has people in it who believe a variety of different things. Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, use that something to support their own existence.”
“One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds.”